Save My Marriage Archives - Page 2 of 2

01 , 4 2012

When the Vow Breaks, Part V: Childless

By Laura and John|2015-02-04T14:20:36-05:00January 4th, 2012|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

Disappointment is a much underrated emotion. Left unchecked, it can devolve to disenchantment and down the slippery slope to “I don’t care anymore.” It can even lead to suicidal ideation. Bill and Mary were childless because she was barren. After marrying in their mid-20’s they waited six years, in deference to career development and financial solvency, before trying to become pregnant. On the proud day they became homeowners (it was Bill’s 32nd birthday), they stood dreamily in was to be the nursery. “Shall we paint it pink?” Mary said. “Blue, green or yellow. Let’s get pregnant,” Bill retorted with a loving squeeze. Now, approaching their 12th anniversary, they reported that there was no joy left, no sparks either, nothing to [...]

11 , 29 2011

When the Vow Breaks; Part III: My Husband No Longer Believes in God!

By Laura and John|2015-02-04T14:20:40-05:00November 29th, 2011|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

Similar beliefs, values, and interests augur towards long, happy marriages. That’s why we worry when someone we know who is a Buddhist, marries a Baptist. But what if they share similar beliefs and values in the beginning, but then one spouse’s faith stance changes and the other spouse’s doesn’t? Jack and Jessie Jones came to a MAKE IT OR BREAK IT retreat because that is exactly what happened to them. Jessie, a devout evangelical Christian who happened to be a school teacher, married Jack, an equally devout evangelical Christian who happened to be an engineer. That was 40 years ago. Several careers and children and grandchildren later she retired. Soon he retired too. Upon retiring, Jack began reading and studying [...]

11 , 22 2011

When The Vow Breaks, Part II – But The Affair Was Just Emotional!

By Laura and John|2015-02-04T14:20:46-05:00November 22nd, 2011|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

Mary was a stay-at-home Mom of three little children. Walter, her husband, was a “Type A” entrepreneur for whom a 70+ hour work week was the norm. Because he was making loads of money, Walter decided he wanted a bigger, better house. Mary would gladly have settled for their current house and more Walter. She reported, “When he’s home, he’s not really home. He’s emailing, texting and thinking about business.” Once the architect delivered the plans, Walter hired a general contractor. Mary became the de facto project manager since, observed Walter, “She had plenty of time on her hands.” It turned out that “Joe” the contractor was not only competent but had a tender heart and knew how to listen. Old [...]

11 , 16 2011

When the Vow Breaks, Part 1: Is you is or is you ain’t?

By Laura and John|2011-11-16T20:34:39-05:00November 16th, 2011|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

When one – either the husband or the wife – leaves their marriage emotionally and spiritually, that marriage becomes just as defunct as if one of the spouses had physically died. At best, the partners live alone together. At worst, the marriage becomes a living hell. Some couples eventually separate but never divorce. Others divorce with rancor and a bitterness that lasts a lifetime. The first morning of a five-day MAKE IT OR BREAK IT retreat, Margie said to Tom, in front of the two of us, “I don’t want to try anymore.” After a minute of uncomfortable silence, Tom replied, “Please let’s not stop the process. Laura and John can help us. If we’re gonna come apart then let’s [...]

11 , 6 2011

Who’s in control?

By Laura and John|2011-11-06T23:58:59-05:00November 6th, 2011|Marriage Communication, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

Any relationship is under the control of the person who cares the least. It is usually a long slide toward emotional alienation. True? Work demands, children, life, in all of that did you pay yourselves first? Did you 'dance with the one that brought you,' or ask him/her to sit this one out as life did what life does. The one who cares the most will need to guide the two of you away from the edge of breaking. Is it worth it to you?

09 , 27 2011

Unhappy Singles Make Disappointing Marriages

By Laura and John|2015-02-04T14:20:53-05:00September 27th, 2011|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

For unhappy singles, marriage is always a disappointing experience. Marriage can add to one’s feeling of self-worth if one enters it feeling worth loving in the first place. But the love of a husband or wife cannot make up for the love one failed to get as a child. In fact, before a husband and wife can find satisfaction together they must first understand that they cannot expect to feel happier as a married couple than they did when they were single. Unhappy singles tend to marry other unhappy singles. They soon become unhappy marrieds. Then, when their best efforts fail and their fondest dreams for their marriage are dashed, disappointment takes over. And disappointment is a much underrated emotion. [...]

09 , 21 2011

Forgiveness in Marriage

By Laura and John|2015-02-04T14:20:59-05:00September 21st, 2011|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

Forgivness is an act of love in marriage. From an unintentional slight to overt betrayal, the ability to forgive your spouse is an act of will. If your marriage is in trouble, chances are the skill of forgiveness may be missing. Forgiveness in marriage is not always easy, but it is necessary. Here is a short excerpt we think defines true forgiveness. Forgiveness does not confer impunity. Even if the perpetrator has already been punished by the law or in some other just fashion, the victim must forgive. The law deals with “the outside.” While it punishes the offender, it does not free the victim. Wise teachers commonly define forgiveness as “abandoning the resentment one is entitled to,” and therefore abandoning [...]