How long would you keep an investment – let’s say a stock or bond – that paid you .01% interest, or none at all, or worse yet, cost you a lot of money to keep?
It’s a silly question; we all insist that our investments work for us, not against us.
But people invest in marriages that work against them, and they stay with that investment for years and years neither making it [by improving its gains] or breaking it [by recognizing that a dead marriage is just as defunct as if one of the partners has died].
There’s an old joke about the couple who, after 75 years of marriage, petitioned for a decree of divorce. When the judge asked, “Why now?” the wife answered, “We promised ourselves we’d wait till the last of our children died.”
If Only We Could Communicate…
Marriages have lifespans, like people do. All of them end in separations, be it by death or otherwise. Many people live their lives, and their marriages, circumstantially. Instead, you can live yours intentionally, plan-fully, assertively.
Who Do You Want to Grow Old With?
What makes a marriage work? For him, for her, for them? And conversely, what makes a marriage not work? What makes it unworkable? And if – if – it is unworkable, why keep trying to make it work? Especially, why keep trying to make it work in the same old ways you’ve tried before, ways that never have worked?
Consider a MAKE IT OR BREAK IT retreat to determine, once and for all, whether to re-up for a lifetime – a new contract with new vows – or, to with compassion and clarity, allow each other the freedom move on. If ending the marriage (or relationship) is the decision, we will help you plan a graceful dissolution.