save your marriage

10 , 13 2012

Have you been ‘fired’ as a marriage partner?

By |2012-10-13T13:26:52-04:00October 13th, 2012|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

Does the following apply to one’s getting “fired” as a marriage partner?  We think it does: “I’ve heard that no one gets fired without secretly hoping for the liberation, but that sounds like the kind of pronouncement you make before you’ve been given the boot.  Being fired is the pits, ranking right up there with infidelity in its brutalizing effect.  The ego recoils and one’s self-image is punctured like a tire by a nail.  In the weeks since I’d been terminated, I’d gone through all the stages one suffers at the diagnosis of a soon-to-be-fatal disease:  anger, denial, bargaining, drunkenness, foul language, head colds, rude hand gestures, anxiety, and eating disorders of sudden onset.  I’d also entertained a steady stream [...]

01 , 4 2012

When the Vow Breaks, Part V: Childless

By |2015-02-04T14:20:36-05:00January 4th, 2012|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

Disappointment is a much underrated emotion.  Left unchecked, it can devolve to disenchantment and down the slippery slope to “I don’t care anymore.”  It can even lead to suicidal ideation. Bill and Mary were childless because she was barren.  After marrying in their mid-20’s they waited six years, in deference to career development and financial solvency, before trying to become pregnant.  On the proud day they became homeowners (it was Bill’s 32nd birthday), they stood dreamily in was to be the nursery.  “Shall we paint it pink?” Mary said.  “Blue, green or yellow. Let’s get pregnant,” Bill retorted with a loving squeeze. Now, approaching their 12th anniversary, they reported that there was no joy left, no sparks either, nothing to [...]

11 , 16 2011

When the Vow Breaks, Part 1: Is you is or is you ain’t?

By |2011-11-16T20:34:39-05:00November 16th, 2011|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

When one – either the husband or the wife – leaves their marriage emotionally and spiritually, that marriage becomes just as defunct as if one of the spouses had physically died. At best, the partners live alone together. At worst, the marriage becomes a living hell. Some couples eventually separate but never divorce. Others divorce with rancor and a bitterness that lasts a lifetime. The first morning of a five-day MAKE IT OR BREAK IT retreat, Margie said to Tom, in front of the two of us, “I don’t want to try anymore.” After a minute of uncomfortable silence, Tom replied, “Please let’s not stop the process. Laura and John can help us. If we’re gonna come apart then let’s [...]

09 , 27 2011

Unhappy Singles Make Disappointing Marriages

By |2015-02-04T14:20:53-05:00September 27th, 2011|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

For unhappy singles, marriage is always a disappointing experience. Marriage can add to one’s feeling of self-worth if one enters it feeling worth loving in the first place. But the love of a husband or wife cannot make up for the love one failed to get as a child. In fact, before a husband and wife can find satisfaction together they must first understand that they cannot expect to feel happier as a married couple than they did when they were single. Unhappy singles tend to marry other unhappy singles. They soon become unhappy marrieds. Then, when their best efforts fail and their fondest dreams for their marriage are dashed, disappointment takes over. And disappointment is a much underrated emotion. [...]

09 , 7 2011

Marriage Communication

By |2011-09-07T15:02:46-04:00September 7th, 2011|Marriage Help Featured|0 Comments

Sometimes in our marriage retreats a spouse says, “We’re just not communicating anymore.” Reality is, yes, you are. Always. These three principles of communication apply full force to marriages: It is impossible not to communicate; communication is a multi-leveled phenomenon – verbal/nonverbal, for example; and the message sent is not necessarily the message received. Learn how a "Make It or Break Marriage Retreat" can help save your marriage today!

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