unhappy marriage

02 , 21 2015

What a Healthy Love Relationship Looks Like

By |2020-05-04T17:54:18-04:00February 21st, 2015|healthy marriage, Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

When I say, “I love me” or “I love you,” what do I mean? I love me. My need to do my own thing, and my right to be me, are immeasurably precious to me. The thoughts I think, the emotions I feel, the words I speak, and the actions I take are mine. They all are freely chosen by me, and for them I am totally responsible. Where satisfying or not, they are my experiment in actualizing my own personhood, my opportunity to learn from my own experience, my expression of my love … for me. I also love you. Your need to do your own thing, and your right to be you, are equally precious to me. The [...]

11 , 5 2012

Living Alone Together

By |2012-11-05T14:13:06-05:00November 5th, 2012|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

Whether one is left or does the leaving – or never leaves or is left physically, just emotionally – the breakdown of a relationship in which one has invested much hope and many years is a daunting experience. The fact that it may be financially catastrophic and complicate the raising of children only deepens the emotional loss and accounts for the fact that many people elect to remain in unhappy marriages. Many couples live alone together. – adapted from Gordon Livingston’s “AND NEVER STOP DANCING”

10 , 13 2012

Have you been ‘fired’ as a marriage partner?

By |2012-10-13T13:26:52-04:00October 13th, 2012|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

Does the following apply to one’s getting “fired” as a marriage partner?  We think it does: “I’ve heard that no one gets fired without secretly hoping for the liberation, but that sounds like the kind of pronouncement you make before you’ve been given the boot.  Being fired is the pits, ranking right up there with infidelity in its brutalizing effect.  The ego recoils and one’s self-image is punctured like a tire by a nail.  In the weeks since I’d been terminated, I’d gone through all the stages one suffers at the diagnosis of a soon-to-be-fatal disease:  anger, denial, bargaining, drunkenness, foul language, head colds, rude hand gestures, anxiety, and eating disorders of sudden onset.  I’d also entertained a steady stream [...]

01 , 4 2012

When the Vow Breaks, Part V: Childless

By |2015-02-04T14:20:36-05:00January 4th, 2012|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

Disappointment is a much underrated emotion.  Left unchecked, it can devolve to disenchantment and down the slippery slope to “I don’t care anymore.”  It can even lead to suicidal ideation. Bill and Mary were childless because she was barren.  After marrying in their mid-20’s they waited six years, in deference to career development and financial solvency, before trying to become pregnant.  On the proud day they became homeowners (it was Bill’s 32nd birthday), they stood dreamily in was to be the nursery.  “Shall we paint it pink?” Mary said.  “Blue, green or yellow. Let’s get pregnant,” Bill retorted with a loving squeeze. Now, approaching their 12th anniversary, they reported that there was no joy left, no sparks either, nothing to [...]

11 , 29 2011

When the Vow Breaks; Part III: My Husband No Longer Believes in God!

By |2015-02-04T14:20:40-05:00November 29th, 2011|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

Similar beliefs, values, and interests augur towards long, happy marriages. That’s why we worry when someone we know who is a Buddhist, marries a Baptist. But what if they share similar beliefs and values in the beginning, but then one spouse’s faith stance changes and the other spouse’s doesn’t? Jack and Jessie Jones came to a MAKE IT OR BREAK IT retreat because that is exactly what happened to them. Jessie, a devout evangelical Christian who happened to be a school teacher, married Jack, an equally devout evangelical Christian who happened to be an engineer. That was 40 years ago. Several careers and children and grandchildren later she retired. Soon he retired too. Upon retiring, Jack began reading and studying [...]

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