Save marriage; breaking marriage; marriage renewal; control in marriage

08 , 11 2020

Everything Must Change

By |2020-08-12T11:10:01-04:00August 11th, 2020|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help|0 Comments

There’s a song that goes “Everything must change; nothing stays the same… The young become the old, And mysteries do unfold, For that’s the way of time; No one, and nothing goes unchanged” (Benard Ighner).  Truer words were never spoken. Pete and Suzie (names disguised) were high school sweethearts who married as university students still living with their families of origin.  When their youngest child left home for college they were still in their 40s. One morning they looked at each other across the breakfast table and Suzie said, “Now what?” Pete asked her what she meant, to which she responded, “To be honest, I don’t know. I don’t know who I am without the kids, let alone who we [...]

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02 , 21 2015

What a Healthy Love Relationship Looks Like

By |2020-05-04T17:54:18-04:00February 21st, 2015|healthy marriage, Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

When I say, “I love me” or “I love you,” what do I mean? I love me. My need to do my own thing, and my right to be me, are immeasurably precious to me. The thoughts I think, the emotions I feel, the words I speak, and the actions I take are mine. They all are freely chosen by me, and for them I am totally responsible. Where satisfying or not, they are my experiment in actualizing my own personhood, my opportunity to learn from my own experience, my expression of my love … for me. I also love you. Your need to do your own thing, and your right to be you, are equally precious to me. The [...]

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08 , 17 2014

Grass is Greener on the Other Side?

By |2014-08-17T18:15:39-04:00August 17th, 2014|Marriage Communication|0 Comments

“They could fall in love with fresh, new people, or they could have the courage and humility to tear off some essential layer of themselves and reveal to each other a whole new level of otherness, a level far beyond what sort of music they liked. It seemed to her everyone had too much self-protective pride to truly strip down to their souls in front of their long-term partners. It was easier to pretend there was nothing more to know, to fall into an easygoing companionship. It was almost embarrassing to be truly intimate with your spouse; how could you watch someone floss one minute, and the next minute share your deepest passion or most ridiculous, trite little fears? It [...]

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12 , 2 2012

Natural Order of Things

By |2015-02-04T14:07:35-05:00December 2nd, 2012|Marriage Communication, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

A bridge is built For a minute it's new Then a crack begins Some rust shows through The shiny paint peels The cables fray What was perfect and true Starts to fade away It's just the natural order of things Without constant care And endless repair A bridge standing tall Will topple and fall It's just the natural order of things A garden is sown For a time it will bloom Then a weed takes root And steals more room The leaves go dry Young buds fall away What was lush and green Turns a tangle of grey It's just the natural order of things Without tender care And patience to spare The garden you tend Will come to an [...]

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11 , 5 2012

Living Alone Together

By |2012-11-05T14:13:06-05:00November 5th, 2012|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

Whether one is left or does the leaving – or never leaves or is left physically, just emotionally – the breakdown of a relationship in which one has invested much hope and many years is a daunting experience. The fact that it may be financially catastrophic and complicate the raising of children only deepens the emotional loss and accounts for the fact that many people elect to remain in unhappy marriages. Many couples live alone together. – adapted from Gordon Livingston’s “AND NEVER STOP DANCING”

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10 , 13 2012

Have you been ‘fired’ as a marriage partner?

By |2012-10-13T13:26:52-04:00October 13th, 2012|Marriage Communication, Marriage Help, Marriage Help Featured, Save My Marriage|0 Comments

Does the following apply to one’s getting “fired” as a marriage partner?  We think it does: “I’ve heard that no one gets fired without secretly hoping for the liberation, but that sounds like the kind of pronouncement you make before you’ve been given the boot.  Being fired is the pits, ranking right up there with infidelity in its brutalizing effect.  The ego recoils and one’s self-image is punctured like a tire by a nail.  In the weeks since I’d been terminated, I’d gone through all the stages one suffers at the diagnosis of a soon-to-be-fatal disease:  anger, denial, bargaining, drunkenness, foul language, head colds, rude hand gestures, anxiety, and eating disorders of sudden onset.  I’d also entertained a steady stream [...]

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